The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

This is another interesting offering from the people who brought you “The Royal Tenenbaums.” “The Life Aquatic” is about a Jacques Cousteau type oceanographer trying to recapture the glory days which made him so famous. The movie is funny and touching. However, if you do not like Wes Anderson movies, you should probably steer clear of this one.

Steve Zissou, played by Bill Murray (Lost in Translation), makes documentaries on his exploration in the deep sea. However, his most recent projects have been flops, and his money as well as producers are starting to run low. His most recent documentary is split into two parts, because he thinks his partner is eaten by the dreaded Jaguar Shark.

While at the premier party, his son–maybe, Ned Plimpton, played by Owen Wilson (Starsky & Hutch), visits him and joins the Life Aquaticteam. Zissou, with his son, now must fight pirates, his wife Eleanor, played by Anjelica Houston (Royal Tenenbaums), and a newspaper reporter whom he has a crush on but at the same time doesn’t trust named Jane Winslett, played by Cate Blanchett (Lord of the Rings trilogy).

In its most simple form, this movie can best be described as a British comedy, very dry humor. However, it does go into greater detail about the lack of a farther-son relationship between Steve and Ned. Ned, of course, falls in love with Jane, creating tension between father and son. The larger story shows the total lack of confidence Steve Zissou has with life outside the ocean, and now between the loss of his friend and his failures, he begins to show his lack of confidence with the ocean.

Director Wes Anderson (Rushmore, Bottle Rockets) must have some issues with his father or conversely none at all, because both this movie and “The Royal Tenenbaums” stories are based on questionable father figures. I found this movie to be quite entertaining, and maybe just a bit too long. There was a part about ocean pirates which didn’t make sense, providing conflict between Steve and his crew. Maybe the sequence could have been done another way, but I didn’t find it too distracting. I also dont know why all of the animals in the movie are fake except for the Killer Whale; doesn’t make sense.

I hope Bill Murray gets another nod for an Academy Award® nomination. I felt he did an outstanding job playing a difficult character. Owen Wilson is also good in this type of movie, since this style of humor is made for him. I will ask Wes Anderson not cast Anjelica Houston for a while. She looks too much like her father, and sometimes I can’t get past that. However, she is a fine actress.

I will sum up by saying, again, this movie is not going to be for everyone just because of the style Anderson has in filming and writing. My own personal fear is I am beginning to tire of this style myself, and because of it, I may not like his next offering. I may be jumping ahead of myself. If you haven’t seen a Wes Anderson movie, go ahead and watch this one. You just might enjoy it.

Brian

Lemony Snickets A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)

This is an incredibly gloomy movie, and I for one am not sure it’s a children’s movie, even though I went during the day and the majority of the audience was children. From the previews, I thought “Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events” would be a dark comedy. Well, I was half right. It was dark, but I did not laugh a lot.

The movie is based on famous children’s books written by Daniel Handler. I have never read the books, so I don’t know how close the movie follows them. However, after watching the movie, it would appear the books do not transfer well onto film.

The premise of the story is, three children, whose parents are killed in a mysterious fire, are turned over to their cousin, an actor, named Count Olaf, played by Jim Carrey (Bruce Almighty). Olaf does not hide the fact he is trying to get rid of the children in order to inherit the enormous wealth left by their parents.

After trying to get them killed in a car/train “accident,” the kids get transferred to another relative, an Uncle Monty, played by Billy Connolly (The Last Samurai). However, he is killed by Count Olaf disguised as a scientist. The kids are then turned over to their Aunt, Josephine, played by Meryl Streep (The Manchurian Candidate). Yes, you guessed right. She too is also killed by Count Olaf.

The climatic scene of the movie is when Olaf discovers, if he marries the oldest of the three children, being 14-year old Violet, played by Emily Browning (Ned Kelly), he will inherit the parents’ wealth. So, he produces a play in which he will marry Violet, while all those watching think the wedding is not real. See what I mean? Dark, but not very funny.

I would like to give kudos to director Brad Siberling, who has also directed “City of Angeles.” He did a nice job of mixing in the narrator of the story, being Lemony Snicket, voiced by Jude Law (Alfie–and every movie that came out this year), in such a way to help explain the story.

The acting was nice, but since all adult characters were written over the top, especially Count Olaf, I did not find any of them enjoyable. I feel Carrey did the best he could with the role of Count Olaf, but it appears to be such a difficult role, I don’t know if anybody could have pulled it off. I would liked to have seen Robin Williams in the part. The two child actors, Emily Browning and Liam Aiken (Road to Perdition), who played the middle child Klaus, were quite enjoyable.

From what I have been told by a friend, the movie stays pretty close to the books. So, if you like the books, by all means go see the movie. If you haven’t, I think there are better movies out there.

Brian – the Naked Gun

The Legend of Zorro (2005)

This is an unimaginative and non-thrilling sequel to the 1998 hit The Mask of Zorro, starring Antonio Banderas as the masked hero of the suppressed. This time he fights enemies of the territory of California as it tries to join the union.

Antonio Banderas (Once upon a time in Mexico) is Zorro who is trying to retire to make his wife, Elena, played by the ultra-hot yet horribly soiled Catherine Zeta-Jones (Ocean’s Twelve) happy so they can spend time raising their son. However, Zorro is accidentally unmasked and his identity is notice by two American Agents who force Elena to divorce Alejandro and fall in love with a Spanish Lord who is coming over to live in America but actually has much darker intentions.

There is nothing original about this movie. But that is actually a good thing because as I started watching the movie my fear was that they would make the kid a large part of the movie doing unrealistic adult like activites, see the child in the movie The Mummy Returns as an example of what I am talking about. Fortunately the writers left the kid as a small player, barely annoying so the movie was watchable.

The bad thing about the movie is that it is WAY TOO LONG. This movie had a habit of over stating the obvious and then underlining it with its plot points. If that had not shown the audience that two guys had discovered who Zorro was, the audience would have been interested in knowing why Elena divorce Alejandro, apparently. Instead since we saw them seeing the unmasking, we knew that the two men were framing Elena. We also now that the Spanish Lord was bad form the time his evil face was on-screen. But yet the writers had to hammer the point into the skull of the audience with many scenes that weren’t necessary for the story. Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman were responsible for this bomb of a movie. They also penned this summer’s flop The Island, so what they are still doing in the business I don’t know.

I can’t say too much more about the movie. It’s not horrible, but it’s not good. I do know that Orci and Kurtzman’s writing make Jane Austin’s stories exciting and full of energy. I would love to say that Catherine Zeta-Jones is what makes this movie worth seeing, but knowing that she is soiled by Michael Douglas at least once a week is too disturbing to think about. Ignore this movie and find something else.

Brian – the Naked Gun

A League of Their Own (1992)

There are two reasons which make this movie very watchable. Unfortunately, there are so many reasons not to watch this movie, I go through different emotions every time I watch it. I go from laughter to utter contempt in about five seconds. So, I do recommend watching this movie but keep in mind, it really is not a baseball movie. It’s more of a touchy, feely, 1990′s politically correct crappy movie.

The movie takes place in the 1940′s and discusses the creation of the All-American Woman’s Baseball League which supplemented the men’s baseball league during the war. Again, it’s not a baseball movie, but more of a political commentary on how these women were given an opportunity to play a sport which was “men only.” I say this, because there are many times during the movie when the script talks about how important women were during the war. There also was the obligatory comment of the situation of black people in America during that time, with their separate but equal situation. There are also lots of relationship issues which happen between sisters, but that’s something I can’t relate to.

The best two reasons to watch this movie are Tom Hanks and Jon Lovitz. Tom Hanks (The Terminal) plays Jimmy Dugan, manager of the Racine Peaches. His timing is effortless and plays the role of a has-been baseball player, full of regret, beautifully. If it wasn’t for him, the movie is not watchable and should be burned in effigy of Bill Clinton.

The other reason to watch this movie is Jon Lovitz (The Stepford Wives), who plays the role of baseball scout Ernie Capadino. He scouts the two main characters Dottie and Kit. His sarcasm and wit are biting, and it’s a part which seemed to be written for him. This made it so enjoyable. Also worth mentioning is the script. While I hated the political commentary of the movie, the humor written for Hanks character, as well as Lovitz, was flat-out hilarious. So, I do give kudos for writers Lowell Ganz (Robots) and Babaloo Mandell (Robots) for the humor of the movie, not the politics.

Notice how I have not mentioned the “real” stars of the movie, the women of the baseball team of which the story was about, with the exception of Geena Davis (Stuart Little 2) who plays Dottie and Lori Petty (Tank Girl) who plays her younger sister Kit. These two do a good job tackling the sister-sister relationship.

Other than these two, the parts could have been played by anybody, and for the most part they were, except for two actresses who were cast for only one reason, name recognition. They were Rosie O’Donnel and Madonna. I thought Madonna was a pointless character, written in the show as a cheap fifty-cent hooker, which her character basically pointed out. The only reason she got the job was, she was friends with director Penny Marshall. Speaking of her, Marshall (Riding in Cars with Toys) made the decision to make this movie more politically driven than character driven, which I feel is a poor choice. This movie could have been a great character movie and would have been much more enjoyable.

That’s that. If it wasn’t for Hanks, this movie isn’t worth that fifty cent hooker I was talking about earlier. Watch this for Hanks’ acting ability, ignore the rest.

Brian – the Naked Gun

The League of Extraordinary Gentleman (2003)

I like the concept of this movie, taking characters from classics of literature and having them come together to fight and save the world. Of course, the great villains of classic literature get together to take over the world. “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” is not going to be rated as the best ever, but I think it’s entertaining.

Basically, the premise is, the world is about to go into war with one man creating all of the weapons to profit from this event, and our heroes are trying to stop them. They are Allan Quartermain, played by Sean Connery (James Bond movies), Captain Nemo, played by Indian actor–as in the country India–Naseeruddin Shah, Mina Harker, played by Peta Wilson (TV’s Le Femme Nikita), Tom Sawyer, played by Shane West (TV’s ER), Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, played by Jason Flemyng (From Hell), and The Invisible Man, played by Tony Curran (Pearl Harbor). The bad guys are The Phantom/M/Professor Moriarty, played by Richard Roxburgh (Van Helsing), and Dorian Gray, played by Stuart Townsend (Head in the Clouds).

This ensemble cast is very good with enjoyable performances by Stuart Townsend and Peta Wilson. Connery is Connery. With the exception of “The Avengers,” I can’t remember a movie he did which I didn’tlike. I also enjoyed Shane West who, in this movie, looks like a thin Jack Black.

I think the story is what hooked me, however. I like this concept of bringing in literary greats into an ensemble movie. The good guys basically chase the bad guys around the world and also try and conquer their own personal demons at the same time.

My dislikes were small. Special effects were not the best, and I would have liked a happier ending. Although, you knew it kind of had to end the way it did.

Overall, I like this small picture. Get past the special effects and enjoy the film, because if you can’t, you are being to nit-picky and shouldn’t watch any movies ever again!

Brian – the Naked Gun

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (2011)

Ok.  I didn’t see Harry Potter when it came out in the movie theater because…well…I just wasn’t into seeing it at the movie theater.  I didn’t think it could possibly live up to my expectations of what I wanted to see.  After seeing the first movie where Harry and his allies got their ass kicked for two hours I was hoping to see something different in the second part of the film.  I didn’t care what the book had him doing, in the movie I wanted him to kick ass.  Well, of course, it didn’t happen.  So I was disappointed, but the movie wasn’t bad and it was entertaining, I just wish I got to see some ass kicking is all.

So in part two if this last film we pick up with the kids still running for their lives and looking for the last of the Horcruxes to destroy.  They eventually figure out that one of the last remaining Horcruxes is somewhere in Hogwarts so the gang head back there and make their last stand.

The movie did keep me interested from beginning to end.  I also enjoyed the fact that the film was darker than the others, if not in reality, then at least it was implied. Knowing that the students who were supporting Harry Potter were fighting the bad guys in the school, the assumption should be and would be that some of them were dying.  We didn’t see any of it but, it had to be the case.  At least I look at it that way.  I don’t want to sound moribund but since war is something to avoid if possible and if not possible ended as quickly as possible, having children die, even if assumed, is a good way to get that point across.  Because in war, children die.

One of the things that I did not like was the sound of the film.  There were many times when I had to rewind the DVD in order to hear what the hell they were saying.  Especially in the beginning with that damn Goblin.  I turned it up all the way and still couldn’t hear him so I had to turn on the subtitles.  I know my hearing is getting bad, but I shouldnt have to do that just to figure out what the hell they are saying.

Oh, and one last thing.  There are certain things I like when it comes to romance in movies.  It’s because there are so few that I would like to have them fulfilled.  I wanted Harry and Hermione to get together.  I don’t care if the books have Ron and Hermione…I wanted Harry Potter to be the one.  This disappointed me, even though it was in the book, the hero should get the girl.

On a whole, I enjoyed the film, I enjoyed the entire series, but I am glad that it is over.  I am sure these movies will be held dear to all of the Harry Potter fans but  in my humble opinion this series finishes a distant fourth behind Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and yes, even Indiana Jones.  But it has been an entertaining 15 years of movie going.

The Last Starfighter (1984)

This small movie was very big in the 80′s and was ground breaking for one reason, all of its special effects were done by computer graphics, marking the first time that happened in movie history. This is a fun little movie and very 80′s but it should be in my collection and yours too if you are a fan of computer generated effects.

Alex Rogan, played by Lance Guest (Jaws: The Revenge,) is a young 20 year old who is upset that he is stuck in his boring life living in the trailer park with his mom and brother. He is a handyman at the park and even his girlfriend, Maggie, played by Catherine Mary Stewart (Weekend at Bernie’s,) appears to be happy living there even though she is loyal too him. The one thing that Alex is really good at is an old video game called The Last Starfighter. After Alex breaks the record one night, a man named Centauri, played by Robert Preston (The Music Man) who claims to have invented the game, takes Alex for a ride in his car. Only it is not a car, it is a space ship and Alex finds out that the game is actually a training program for Starfighters. Alex is then recruited to be a Starfighter in a war against creatures that want to control the universe.

Like I said in the opening, the special effects for the movie were unique. Other than make up and the explosions on Earth, the entire film was computer generated. Now, it is obvious that the effects look like a computer, actually they look like a video game with graphics in the early 1990′s. Because the effects looked like that, watching the movie now is funny. I am sure that Michael Gates would be laughing the minute he saw the SFX but if it wasn’t for this movie, movies like Cars and Finding Nemo would have been delayed a couple of years at least.

The acting is very 80′s even though there were two Academy Award ® nominated actors in this movie. Robert Preston who was Centauri, was nominated for supporting actor for the 1982 film Victor/Victoria. Dan O’Herhily, who was the alien navigator for Alex, Grig, was nominated for best supporting actor for the 1954 film the Adventures of Robinson Crusoe. When they are on screen, there is a decided calm, for a lack of a better word, in the acting from the other younger actors who are on screen with them. By far the most annoying actor was Norman Snow (Manhunter) who was the evil Xur. He was supposed to be crazy but it just came off stupid and annoying.

An interesting side note on the movie is that Director Nick Castle was “The Shape” in the original Halloween movie and Lance Guest made his acting debut in the sequel, Halloween II. Another note is that this movie was the last movie for Robert Preston who died of lung cancer three years later.

This is a very entertaining movie but the story is silly. If it wasn’t for the special effects, the movie wouldn’t even be discussed. The special edition DVD has the making of the movie and that was fairly interesting. If I become really wealthy one day, I will own this movie, but if I don’t, I will be sure that if it is on TV, I will watch it.

Brian – the Naked Gun