Archive for the ‘Ulrich Thomsen’ Category

mortdecaiI was very hesitant in watching this film because I have yet to find a single positive review on it and both Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow were nominated for Razzies for their performances. I only had heard about this film recently as I have developed my obsession with Olivia Munn and saw a YouTube video of her and Conan O’Brien talk about it as she is there to plug the show which also explains why I watched this movie.  I went in with zero expectations with only a desire to see Olivia in the film and overall my expectations were met but I believe it is better than the reviews I have read and nowhere near the worst movie you see.

Mortdecai, played by Johnny Depp (Corpse Bride,) is a British art dealer sometimes art smuggler who has managed to get himself 8 million pounds (British for dollars) in debt.  Because of his shady connections he is asked by current MI-5 agent and old college rival Martland, played by Ewan McGregor (The Island,) to find an expensive piece of art that was stolen while it was being repaired.   On the hunt for the same piece of art is terrorist Emil, played by Jonny Pasvolsky (Macbeth,) Russian mobster Romanov, played by Ulrich Thomsen (The Thing,) fellow British dealer Sir Graham, played by Michael Culkin (The Iron Lady,) and American father daughter team of Krampf, played by Jeff Goldblum (Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou,) and Georgina, played by Olivia Munn (Ride Along 2.)  Helping to try and keep Mortdecai out of danger is his man servant Jock, played by Paul Bettany (The Avengers: Age of Ultron,) and his lovely wife Johanna played by Gwyneth Paltrow (Iron Man 2.)

So the first problem I can see is that I know that these are British characters but who decided that both Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow should have English accents?  Yeah I know British characters but the accents were horrible to the point that it was distracting.  Depp played his character as a wimpy vocal Mr. Bean and I’m not sure what Paltrow was doing but it didn’t work.  My curiosity is why cast these two when we have a whole Kingdom full of wonderful British actors and actresses who could have done that better.  I mean being Depp and Paltrow didn’t add anything to the rolls that was special so other than name recognition there was no need to have them in the movie.

It could be the writer to blame for the fact that large parts of the movie were unfunny.  Bits and pieces inspired me to smile and giggle but for the most part it was dry.  Although the story of the missing painting and the pursuit of that was fun and the scenes involving Bettany and his fights were entertaining.  I also like the whole Russian bit with Mortdecai, but those kinds of laughs were few and far between.  The movie did have one of my qualifiers for a good action movie in that the action took place in Europe even if it was mostly in doors.  There was a lot of comedy involved with the action so that made up for the lack of actual violence or car chase scenes, but not enough to make this a good movie.

My obligatory Olivia Munn report doesn’t have a whole lot to it.  She doesn’t show up until act 3 and there is absolutely nothing to character as written.  She has a hot but totally awkward dance scene with Johnny Depp that ends with his hand on her breast which made me jealous.  She ran around with a gun a couple of time so that added to her hot factor but there was just nothing to show whether or not she can act or not so I will continue to give her the benefit of the doubt.oliviamunnmortdecai

So as much as I have bagged on this movie, it’s not the worst movie you will ever see.  If it happens to be on HBO or you have a free rental at Redbox or Netflix gives you a freebee and you like any of these actors then get it.  I wouldn’t pay actual money for this movie like I did but it’s what I am will to do for my reviewing public.


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